Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Choosing sides.....

Been a while since my previous post, I know. The past few weeks have been quite hectic and the sun is hardly showing any mercy on us Mumbaikers. Dear God, can we fast forward to winter please?? (Errrr, is there one in Mumbai??)

Before I go off on another tangent, let me today talk about something which has been on my mind a lot these days. A word of caution - Written in one of those pensive moods, this one may lack the “feel-good” factor. Désolé!

Let us consider a scenario. A, B & C are colleagues. B is good friends with A & C. But A doesn’t like C and C doesn’t seem to care too much for A either. But B is fond of A & C, and according to B, they are both special in their own way. B does not want to choose sides.

Confused? :) Re-read. What if you are in B’s shoes?

Some may say, why do you care? You maintain your personal equation with both of them the way you want, and forget about their feelings for each other. All this is easier said than done.

Unfortunately, one cannot be insouciant to this aspect in relationships beyond a certain point, especially between friends. When A starts talking to you, you are hoping he/she doesn’t start bad mouthing C. When you are talking to C, you are so careful not to mention A’s name anywhere. You and your bunch of friends are organizing a get-together. Do you call A or C? Do not call both?? Better still, ensure one leaves before the other one arrives!? C’mon are we in third grade!!?

Here is one end to the story that I have seen happen. B decides to grow closer to A and at the same time maintain a cordial relationship with C. After a point of time, C begins to realize this tilt in equation, and detaches himself/herself slowly from A & B. Then poof!! C is nowhere in the picture.

Here is what happens otherwise. B maintains a healthy relationship with both A & C. A win-win situation? Not quite. The relationship begins to lose its depth, in some circumstances especially. B is not sure what the other person is thinking and how they will react. Then comes some dreaded outbursts “Why was he over reacting, he is the one who needs to grow up!" Oops. Now what?! How straightforward can one be, to say “Forget him, what about you?” Honestly? Not me, not always.

You may wonder why this loony woman is over analyzing the situation. I have realized that as we mature into adults, we think we know how to handle such idiosyncrasies, but the truth is, we are flummoxed. When both the parties are important, how can you choose sides? And if you do, how do you convince the other person without earning his/her wrath??

Well, there is only so much one can do too.

Maybe, it is better to just, LET GO.


  1. Oh it is horrid to be in a situation like that!but then these things have a way of working themselves just have to go with it...I guess??!

  2. Agree completely sweets, it is a weird situation Trust me!
    Yup, it is best to just go with the flow. Why get worried when noone else is! :)

  3. I agree totally with what Anju has said... :) Its always better to let these things take their natural course.. It might work out for the good.. or might not.. But the best option is not to meddle.. :) And like you said, why worry when noone else is? ;)

  4. Yup... i have learnt from experience :P There are far more worthwhile things to worry abt!


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